Whew. Now that that's out, please allow me to ponder a bit about the marvels of pregnancy that is my new life. Absolutely nothing can prepare you for the changes you will go through in your mind, body, and soul. It starts off with having a really good, really juicy secret that only you and your partner know and can't share with anyone for much too long of a time.
At other times (like when you're nauseated bending over a sink), it feels like you're on that roller coaster that you love to hate. There was extreme fatigue during Weeks 7-11. Every. Single. Day. All. Day. I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. Lucky for me, I have three flights of stairs at home, and two at the office. And then I read these pregnancy books that advise you to "have someone else cook your meals for you to ease nausea and take a nap every day." File that under "Really? Really??" Were these books written by an out-of-touch-with-reality rich person with a butler or decades ago when women were generally housewives?
I also developed what I like to call SPB, or Secret Pregnancy Behavior. You remember that Sex & the City episode when Carrie laments about how living with her boyfriend restricts her SSB (a.k.a. Secret Single Behavior)––like eating Saltines with peanut butter while standing over the kitchen sink, etc. Well, SPB is like that, only way worse because you have to hide your behavior not from just one person, but from the rest of the world! Some examples of my personal SPB:
1. passing out on the mock-up table at work
2. running to the bathroom every hour
3. sneaking lint-covered almonds from your pocket during client meetings
4. sneaking upstairs to the office kitchen to microwave only the deli meat–which could contain listeria–from your catered office sandwiches (I had to do this at least 3x when my office was conducting Secret Shopper lunches for research on a catering client's competitors!)
And SPB gets worse through the middle to the end of the first trimester, for example:
:: Taking lunchtime naps at the dimly-lit Middle Eastern restaurant down the street. They have plush floor cushions instead of tables! Would inevitably get kicked out at 2pm closing time. They probably thought I was homeless. Hey, it was either there or The Boss's blue velvet couch in her office!
:: Asked a random dude waiting at my bus stop if I could have his bag of chips, if I gave him my spare change. (In my defense, the bag was unopened and I was REALLY hungry!!)
:: Inadvertently gained a "wubby." Yep, as in how babies have blanket wubbies, or kids have stuffed animal wubbies. Mine is a fun-size Snickers bar. One night, many weeks ago, I brought it upstairs with me to have as a bedtime snack, but I didn't end up eating it. Over the next few days The Fella noticed that I would carry it up to bed at night, and then back downstairs to the kitchen in the morning. I still have it!
:: For most of the first trimester, I could only eat foods that I normally hate: eggs, peanut butter, frozen waffles, sandwiches, cereal, yogurt. Oh yea, and alcohol, which I never even drink! (No, I didn't give in to this one!) On the other hand, I couldn't stomach the thought of eating vegetables, fish, or poultry––all things I used to love––and I didn't have any of these for the entire first trimester, even into the second!
:: I would remain fixated on a food product the instant I saw it on tv until I could realistically get my hands on it, even if it was days or weeks later: Garrett's Popcorn (saw Jay on a Modern Family episode eating caramel popcorn), Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits (saw a tv commercial), a rump roast (fell asleep reading a silly Nora Roberts' novel where the leading lady makes a romantic meat-and-potatoes dinner for her manly-man)...
Twenty weeks later, countless lower back and abdomen pains, and we're having a boy!! Save the date for late October!
Yay, so excited for you guys!
ReplyDeleteTime for a belly pic!!
ReplyDelete(RachelW)