Hard at work, obviously...A smattering of The Most Absurd Things recently overheard around the workplace:
[Regarding client ad changes] "Need to replace image on right side because the cow on the left has tail up, which indicates impending cow pie coming. Please crop that out." – Protein provider
"Stedman will be coming in today, so we need to wrap up the photo shoot upstairs." – Myself
"Good, fast, cheap – you can only pick two." – My boss
[Regarding client brochure changes] "There's a new rule 'no white guys in photos' so we will need you to find replacement images." – Large-scale, custom cabinetry provider for low-income housing projects
[Regarding client freakout] "That button on my website is linking to an external pornographic site, you must do something stat! You know, Rachael Ray called me about this!" – High end/high angst luxury travel planner
"Jamie, I have bad news. The envelope converter screwed up the diecut of the A7 envelopes, instead of square flap he made it round flap thereby cutting off the return address. The converter has the nerve to tell me, 'Why don't you just try to sell your client on this?' My response went like this, 'What the F!@*$!! F!@*$!!'" – Print vendor
"I'm having dinner with Salvador Dali's illegitimate son today." – My boss
[Regarding a luxury linen rental catalog] "Oh, look, it's my favorite big fish [about an image of a whale shark in the catalog, but which my client thinks is a baby beluga]. It's such a shame what they do to them, killing them for caviar!" – Judy, my client (Aside: I'm going to go ahead and state the obvious, beluga whales do NOT get made into caviar. Oh, Judes!)
"It's too bad your husband's a rheumatologist and not a plastic surgeon." – My boss
Can you find the cow with the "impending cow pie coming"?
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