This weekend we went to a backyard bbq at the house of Fella's colleague. Between the five couples, there were at least 8-10 young toddlers and babies around. (Hard to say for sure how many, because they seemed to multiply every time I turned around, go figure!) The spread was delicious and the patio ambience was Pottery Barn-esque. It reminded me of the fun I used to have entertaining pre-baby and had me wishing for a bigger space now.
Yesterday's bbq was the first time – in almost a year – that we hung out with a larger group of all couples. In Chicago, even after we had Max, we managed to get together occasionally with our friends for dinner parties and such. I found myself really wanting to talk about something other than the kids, but somehow the conversations kept leading back to nannies versus daycares, montessori schools versus school systems, and other dry topics like, so what brought you out here? I couldn't think of anything else to talk about, and neither could the other moms. The dads, who all worked together, talked only about work. Maybe it was because we all had children there, everyone's attention only half focused on the other adults, the other half on the little people. Perhaps they were also feeling the same way, wanting more but not sure how to go about getting it.
I know new relationships take time to cultivate, particularly when young kids are part of the equation, but I'm (we're) finding it difficult to connect with new people on a level other than work or our children. Certainly, my social skills are a little rusty. I can't even really blame it on being "new" to the area anymore (we're coming up on a year in Maryland), but between working full-time and then spending weekends as a family or running errands, that truly doesn't leave much time for developing new friendships. And that's not for lack of trying. I reached out to a nice mother who I often run into at daycare, asking her if she'd like to exchange numbers and get coffee sometime. Her answer was unconvincing: I don't know, weekends are just so busy, I guess we could try to set up a playdate.
How do you find that "spark" with new people you meet during this stage in life? What do you do to "socialize well" at events when your kids are around? Are there certain "other" topics you have tucked in your back pocket as conversation starters? Any tips are appreciated!
Max, on the other hand, had a blast scooping sand with everyone! Maybe we should all take some cues from the kids: don't overthink it, just find a simple activity to entertain, and go to town!
^^ Those two plates of food are Max's.
Yesterday's bbq was the first time – in almost a year – that we hung out with a larger group of all couples. In Chicago, even after we had Max, we managed to get together occasionally with our friends for dinner parties and such. I found myself really wanting to talk about something other than the kids, but somehow the conversations kept leading back to nannies versus daycares, montessori schools versus school systems, and other dry topics like, so what brought you out here? I couldn't think of anything else to talk about, and neither could the other moms. The dads, who all worked together, talked only about work. Maybe it was because we all had children there, everyone's attention only half focused on the other adults, the other half on the little people. Perhaps they were also feeling the same way, wanting more but not sure how to go about getting it.
I know new relationships take time to cultivate, particularly when young kids are part of the equation, but I'm (we're) finding it difficult to connect with new people on a level other than work or our children. Certainly, my social skills are a little rusty. I can't even really blame it on being "new" to the area anymore (we're coming up on a year in Maryland), but between working full-time and then spending weekends as a family or running errands, that truly doesn't leave much time for developing new friendships. And that's not for lack of trying. I reached out to a nice mother who I often run into at daycare, asking her if she'd like to exchange numbers and get coffee sometime. Her answer was unconvincing: I don't know, weekends are just so busy, I guess we could try to set up a playdate.
How do you find that "spark" with new people you meet during this stage in life? What do you do to "socialize well" at events when your kids are around? Are there certain "other" topics you have tucked in your back pocket as conversation starters? Any tips are appreciated!
Max, on the other hand, had a blast scooping sand with everyone! Maybe we should all take some cues from the kids: don't overthink it, just find a simple activity to entertain, and go to town!
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